How the Issue of Control Affects Our Stress

00:00:09 Hello. This is Dr. Shawn would reduce stress and thrive. And today we're going to look at how the issue of control affects our stress and ability to thrive. I help busy individuals who are overwhelmed stress and anxious through strategies that improve your emotional wellbeing and spiritual practices that deepen your relationship with God so that you may experience peace, fulfillment, and begin to thrive.

00:00:32 Today. I'd like to take a look at how control affects our stress. A lot of the issues that we struggle with regarding control have to do with our expectations. I believe I mentioned that in an earlier live show a couple of weeks ago, and today I'd like to explore that further in two or three lives, you know, control happens when we need something to happen,

00:00:58 like a certain way. You know, like our expectations are powerful in our lives. And sometimes we have expectations because our sense of security happened, or we, we become more secure when certain realities in our life happened a certain way. And so we have these expectations and we try to control our life or situations that we're in circumstances or even people in a way that produce that sense of security that we long for.

00:01:28 So I've been thinking about how control or the issue of control has been affected because of this pandemic that we've been going through this past year. You know, our lives have been turned upside down in a lot of what normal living looks like has been changed. So we've been living in a new normal, and that has been uncomfortable for many of us.

00:01:52 There's realities that we're all dealing with that are beyond our control and are not of our choosing. And so it really affects our sense of security, our sense of peace and wellbeing. And I I've, I've really found that oftentimes, and it has nothing to do with this pandemic, but oftentimes we can seek to control something because we feel like we need something to happen a certain way,

00:02:21 or some type of reality needs to take place in our life for us to feel a peace, to feel fulfilled, to feel like all is well in our world. And I find that sometimes we're trying to control things that we can't control, and that can create a good degree of stress in our lives. It can create anxiousness and in fear, fear that we won't be able to get what we want or what we need.

00:02:50 And there are realities in our life where we are certainly not getting what we need or what we want in life. And they like this pandemic has definitely affected, you know, like the core issues, core longings that we all have, but there's a lot of things, you know, that we can struggle with regarding control. They have to do with preferences.

00:03:16 They have to do with ways, things happen in our lives that don't deal with the core longings or core needs of our life. And, and the issue of control comes up where we need something to happen a certain way. So I've been reflecting on that, like where have I been stressed? And when have I struggled when something has happened a certain way that I'm used to,

00:03:42 you know, like I could be used to going out to eat with my family and celebrating, and now we're, you know, getting takeout and bringing, you know, the meal in to celebrate. So we've celebrated as a family in different ways and, not do things the same way. You know, there's increased issues of being isolated or feeling alone because we can't connect with one another the way we used to.

00:04:08 And so, you know, that feels like out of control, especially when you've been exposed or have had some type of contact tracing. And then you find that you have to quarantine for a few days and adjust your life because you may have been effected or, you know, you have to get tested for the coronavirus. And it's just, there's so many things happening that bump into this issue of feeling that things are in control.

00:04:42 And it's hard because so many things are out of our control right now. And so I've been looking at this issue in my own life and those that I've been helping, and this has come up so much where, you know, there's feelings of overwhelm, there's feelings of anxiousness, there's feelings of fear, because things are out of our control. And,

00:05:04 and there are some things that are definitely out of our control that we can't change, but sometimes there's expectations we have of realities in our life that, that we can change, or we can change our expectation. And sometimes we're trying to control things that we certainly can't control. And this is important to take a look at this because it affects our stress and the level of stress we experience.

00:05:30 So my challenge for you, my charisma to you is take a look at, are you trying to control things that you can't control and are there issues of expectations that you have, and now that we're living in a new normal, and this pandemic has affected our life in such ways that it would be healthier to let go of those expectations and find ways to experience peace and joy fulfillment in life with new realities,

00:06:01 new expectations, new ways of doing things and letting go of the old. And sometimes the need is just to let go of where you don't have control and allow your heart and your mind and your wellbeing to find rest, even in your relationship with God. So just some thoughts and some reflections. And I ask that you would, if you have some challenges of your own or found this encouraging,

00:06:31 feel free to direct message me or comment below.

00:06:34 And I want to encourage you to have a great day